Receiving Gracefully--February 2010 I arrive at Dauphin Island, Alabama, leaving the lengthy “arctic blast” in the Midwest, only to find it has even reached the Gulf Coast! It’s OK because I’m not here for the weather. Recently retired from my work as a therapist, I’m spending five weeks on the island to unwind and discern what The Creator is opening for the next part of my life. I look up retire in the dictionary and find…to withdraw or remove oneself from worldly matters or the company of others, or go away or apart, to a place of privacy, shelter, or seclusion…to go to bed…to retreat from the usual field of activity in an orderly fashion. I can do this and this wilderness island is a good place to sort it out. The cold hangs on and I don’t mind. Then there is a deluge of rain which doesn’t bother me either because I have no agenda. Damp gale force winds move through and it feels colder than Illinois. I’m all right, but the palm trees aren’t. (I secretly pray for them.) I’m waiting. I sleep…deeply and peacefully. I read all sorts of books. I journal and track my dreams. Ten days pass. I’m waiting. I let my mind and spirit uncoil from 25 years of moving and creating and doing in my work life. I am curious about who I am without a need to gear up for what’s next. Finally, the sun and temperature coordinate their efforts and the wind is warm. I feel like Noah poking my nose out the door after all the cold wet weather. My lounge chair on the front porch is enclosed in sunshine today and I plop down. This spot feels like a tree house vantage point balanced on the lofty stilts under the house. I am thankful for the last 10 days of unwinding, as well as, the warm sun and wind today. It occurs to me that The Artist of creation is like the wind, that is, mighty and capable of changing all that is touched…moving and forming all the while. The Creator calls out from an invisible place and yet is entirely visible through the movement and changes that appear throughout nature including in me. I see both gentleness and mightiness in the wind today. I feel embraced in love as I soak in the warmth of the sun…the warm wind lapping around me. I am receiving gifts I cannot yet put words to. PS…I am now sort of back from Dauphin Island in Illinois. My son Jay looked at the slow as molasses me this week and asked, "Mom, are you still on Alabama Time?" My natural rhythm is much slower than I would have predicted…ahhh. I am curious about the other gifts I will unwrap.
An Experience of Receiving Gracefully—Take some time or make some time to go outside in a leisurely way. I know 35 days is a lot…but how about 35 minutes? Take along your journal and art supplies. Allow yourself to breathe in deeply…smell the air. Slow down enough to receive the grace filled gift that is waiting for you. Be in it. Write and draw about it. Savor it so that it becomes a conscious part of you.
Misty Mystical Mystery--January 2010 Gazing out the window, I’m quite content to be indoors visiting with my friends in New York on this early January day. Looking beyond the snow and trees to the Hudson River, I notice mist rising from its mirror smooth iridescent surface. At last I let go of my cozy spot and go outside for a closer look at the mystical reflection on the Hudson. The air is wholly still as I pad out on the back porch in slippered feet. It is not only still, but also crisp and inviting...filled with clear cool goodness. A deep inhale brings its freshness into me. I stay with this sweet fresh unmarked moment.
Crisp still morning air Back indoors, the thesaurus pops up the words foggy murky cloudy steamy when I look up misty. I decide to look up the word mystical as I associate it with misty. I find spiritual, numinous, supernatural as synonyms…not at all like misty. The word mystical is identified as mystery and wonder beyond what is ordinary. Perhaps if we see the mist as fog and murkiness, that is what we experience. If we wait in the stillness with a heart open to The Artist, it is transformed into a deeper mystery. A mystical mystery experience: Before going outside, empty your preconceived ideas about what you might find. Take along your journal and art supplies. Wander…pause when something catches your attention. Stay with it long enough to be in and part of the mystery of the moment. Afterward, journal and draw and write haiku until you have the clarity you desire about the mystery of this moment. Birthing Something New--December 2009 It is just below freezing…the coldest day since March. I bundle up like it is 20 below zero…long polar fleece coat, scarf, gloves, hat and NEW boots. I am taking no chances on this walk! In actuality, the cold air hits my face with an enjoyable clarity and I am off. I wander a bit and then I am still, waiting and hoping, but I am not sure for what. The bare tree branches are lacing against the grey winter sky. Everything seems empty, blank, barren. My urge this time of the year is to clear out with the rest of nature even though the marketers tell me to shop and buy, filling myself and my home. I am currently packing several boxes with books I no longer read and wish to give away. I am tingly with excitement as I empty out and create space with the rest of nature. In this season of waiting, I want to make room for new dreams and growth and be available to the possibility of being birthed into more. It seems like a faith filled activity. I wait and hear and see, feeling the crisp refreshing air on my face.
Snowflake on black scarf I can be present to each moment supplied by The Artist of creation. The minutes come and go, each rich as I slow down and internalize it and richer still as I share its harvest with others…a feast. An experience of birthing something new: Consider opening up some space in your life during this busy season. Take your journal and art supplies outside. Allow yourself to experience the moment and be with it until you birth something new. Use the gentle energy coming from your experience to navigate your life. Lost and Found—November 2009 With a glance out the window at the thick white frost cover on the yet green grass, I stop short. This patch of grass has been green since spring. It avoided the usual late summer dead brown look because of heavy frequent rain. I love green and I have been secretly cheering. With the white frost coat, I know it is all but over. I am also aware that the sky has been completely gray lately, some days a flat gray tone throughout and other days every shade and gradation of gray is visible in the puffy cloud cover. I got my camera when I saw a tiny sliver of blue shining through yesterday. I love being in an airplane on days like these, up where the gray carpet lies below and the full clarity of blue is revealed above. The gray dome reminds me of losses in my life. For example, I have a tendency to think of beloved people in my life as permanent rather than knowing that with the rest of nature we shift and our relationships with others change also. I like it when things stay the same with not only relationships, but even paint colors. I choose a paint color for the walls and stick with it and love it for at least 10 years. Change is the real constant. Nature makes that clear! I grieve losses knowing there are seasons for everything and The Artist is constantly co-creating my life with me. I am only ready for the refreshment of a new season as I let go of the last. Life recycles like a lost and found. I was recently out of the country and ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in over 25 years at the airport…we were both on the same flight home. I felt delight and love at the sight of her. It reminded me of my belief that “love is eternal”. We met for lunch yesterday and it was as though no time had passed. The green of the grass is only on the surface. Most of my life is lived underground where my roots are sustained in the love I know through my Creator. This allows life to be available to me whether it is green or blue or gray outdoors or in my heart.
It reminds me of the tiny face of my grandson Ben, full of promise in his newness, fresh from The Artist, dressed in green. He’s joined our family in creating this new season. Welcome Ben! I want to faithfully trust the gray transition moments leading to new life.
An experience of lost and/or found: When you have a gray day inside your self or outside looking up at the sky and feel a sense of loss, consider picking up your journal and art supplies and going outside. Allow yourself to be present and ready to find and receive whatever gifts The Artist has for you in this season of life! Surprise—October 2009 Very pleased at the sunny warmth outside, I am enjoying reconnections at a reunion retreat for women today. Although it’s unseasonably warm, I notice fall is here…the color is between green and brown wherever I look. I, as leader, suggest the women be expectant about learning and open to surprise out in nature on this day.
I feel satisfied pondering the fact that today is a harvest day, i.e. each woman beautiful and full from young to elderly and like these tomatoes…ripe, abundant ready and alive. I realize some are still green and waiting. The seeds will never the less enter the ground and replenish the earth next year. I get tomato surprise plants every year. I continuously grow and give birth to the new in my life while simultaneously letting go of and planting “seeds”. This moment seems like enough for me…plenty. Pondering this…soaked in gratitude, I write a thank you to The Artist of creation in my journal. Suddenly a beautiful tomato red, red-veined darter dragonfly lands at the end of the first line…and stays. It feels like a love note from The Artist, saying, “I am here.” The moment lasts, I am changed…I am more. Dragonfly here then gone
I was quite satisfied with the tomatoes and not even considering the abundant surprise of more. I want to be available to the goodness of life and the more! An experience of Surprise—Take your journal and art supplies and whatever else you wish outside and try to leave your preconceived notions at home. Wait, look, listen and mostly be open to the surprise of more than you know or expect. Write, draw and/or dance your experience!
Waiting Expectantly--September 2009
Once out, the adventure begins. Myriad kinds of birds including hummingbirds seem anything but tentative in the now misty rain and are gliding hither and yon in search of today’s sustenance. Many birdsongs cluster in the air. I have always wanted to photograph my tiny hummingbird friends on the feeder. This time of year, these small creatures are eating fast and furiously, bulking up for the trip south. Their bodies even look plump. I see them many times each day through the large window wall at the back of my home. Yesterday, one was within three feet of my face for five or ten seconds, wings humming. Hhmmmmmm. As their appetite appears to grow they seem less careful. Perhaps they are used to me after sharing the same space all summer.
Waiting and watching Just plain old waiting is usually not much fun. I remember the bored “When are we going to get there?” line during long car rides as a child. My children echoed the same line a generation later. Waiting expectantly has quite a different flavor throughout nature which is chuck full of The Artist’s never-ending worthy delights. Some are big and hard to miss like winter’s snow melting into spring green. Others are tiny like my encounter with Hummy. I am aware that if I stop and tune in, wait and expect, The Artist will deliver an important and/or delightful learning to me outdoors. I am never disappointed. What a playful and worthy spiritual practice! After all, “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) An Experience of Waiting Expectantly—Even if the day outside does not look inviting, allow yourself to trust that there is learning outdoors for you. Gather up your journal and art supplies and head out. Let an expectancy grow within you that you will find exactly what you need to know today. Pay attention to what you see and hear and smell and feel. Allow yourself to wait, soaking in the day, faithfully trusting you will learn what you need to. Enjoy the wait!
Spaciousness--August 2009 Typing on my computer late in the evening, busy, busy...I notice a luminescence beckoning to me through the window. Drawn to the big almost round moon two evenings in a row, I decide to pay attention to this urge by An immense black sky has a giant orb of white moon. It glimmers and calls me into focus. The rolling acre in front opens fully to the spaciousness of the sky beyond creating an open place in me. As a painter I am so much about color, it is sometimes good to get to the simplicity of black and white. I have such a sharp awareness of form, it is a relief to relax into this indistinct landscape with only dark shadows in the moonlight and a dark horizon ahead. I breathe it in…deeply. Dark expanse night sky I think about The Artist creating order out of chaos and how we humans have a tendency to create more chaos. We often clutter our homes, our closets, our lives with things and appointments and even people. There is so little space, we feel the squeeze and frequently don’t know why. I wonder if it felt spacious like this night sky before humanity’s adventure began….an open, orderly, canvas ready for something new. After several more minutes of breathing, I slowly enter my home feeling spacious, clean, new and refreshed. Ahhhhh... What a good idea it was and is to have an infinite span of night sky…like a cosmic blackboard erased clean. An experience of spaciousness: When you are feeling squeezed, pay attention and find an open space outdoors…day or night. If day, then gather your journal and art supplies, camera, whatever you like. If night, leave them inside…they will be there when you get back! Whichever time of day, put everything down when you get to your open space so nothing distracts you. Now, breathe and tune in to the smells and sounds and whatever you see in this open space. Be aware of how you feel inside of your body. Breathe in and out and in and out. Take several minutes. When you’re ready, you might like to journal, write a haiku (3 lines with 5,7,5 syllables…or what ever you wish), take a photo, draw a picture or do a dance…so you re-member this moment.
Mercy—July 2009 This day started badly with an incessant pecking. A bird was in the attic above my home office ceiling. He apparently wangled his way through the shake shingled roof in order to invade. My crabbiness was escalating. I finally left home and melted into the oppressive heat. It was after the bird incident, but before I had a chance to check the yellow pages to see who could get him out. I taught an afternoon class about the glories of the out of doors in a freezing cold dimly lit auditorium. Sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? After the class, back in the stifling heat while fighting for my place in the busy late day traffic, I was aware of the hot air mirage effect rising up from the road. Today has been sticky, stifling, hot hot, with a merciless sun beating down without respite. Arriving home, it is already 7pm when I tentatively walk out on the deck and head for the backyard. I am welcomed by an end of the day breeze. It is a delicious surprise and mildly caressing as it swirls by creating a gentle movement in the nearby flowers. Finally, in this moment, there is mercy in a waft of sweet smelling air. I don’t even know what the fragrance is…flowers, plants, summer air all mixed in. A variety of birds are chirping and tweeting in celebration of the sweet 80 degree ending of this day. If only I could draw or photograph the breeze to thank The Artist for including it in my day. Stressful day…rush, rush Now, a bright yellow goldfinch lands on the nearby pine tree pinnacle providing a vibrant contrast to all of the green. A bee is busily gathering honey nectar from the flower in front of me. What a gift. One definition of mercy is “Alleviation of distress; relief”. I receive this from The Artist’s Hand with gratitude. There is always a place of respite and replenishment mercifully provided for me when I venture outside.
A Merciful Experience: When you have a day which is stressful and you are feeling a little over what you can contain with grace, how about gathering together your journal and art supplies as you head outside. Find a place where you want to stop and allow yourself to be fully present. As you allow yourself to be in this place and in this moment, be aware of how your attitude shifts as you permit the merciful part of the day to envelop you. Write, draw or do whatever you wish to secure this day in goodness.
Leaping Out—June 2009 I walk into my backyard which is an abundant display of myriad shades of green. I have waited and waited Instant growthful sprout
I remind myself of the squirrels and chipmunks in the garden saving up all the nuts and acorns for the long wait until the next leap forward. It is easier to wait and cooperate with this process as I become aware of it and own it as part of my spiritual journey. A Leaping Out Experience: Take your journal and whatever art supplies you like and head outdoors. Be aware of how things are growing and changing in this season. Notice what you are attracted to as you contemplate these changes. Think about your own process of growth and how it might be reflected through this attraction. Allow yourself to consider how you leap out into the next growthful part of your life. Shaggy—May 2009 Moseying through the woods behind my house today, I am attracted to an exquisitely ragged shagbark hickory I wonder why we humans have such a need to qualify and quantify things. Could it have something to do with a desire to control and be in charge? Nature appears congruent to me even though it is a bit shaggy. Looking at the base of the tree, I notice some violets happily growing right through last years leaves which I am sure will be composted into something nutritious. Sure, it is all kind of messy, but it is also quite lovely and definitely an improvement over the invasive metal disk. There doesn’t seem to be a fuss going on. It is natural. I look a little shaggy myself today. I just got back from out of town yesterday and have been playing catch up at home…with one walk in the woods. I have on a sweat suit and my hair looks like the style they are calling bed head. The truth is, this look was The Artist’s design for my hair…and I do like it very much on the shagbark hickory. I notice I have joy in the moments when I allow The Artists design to shine through in any area of my life. When I “live and move and have my being” within The Creator’s design, life feels right for me. I hope no one rings my door bell, but I have to admit I am enjoying this day with a total lack of decorum. Decorum is defined as a dignified propriety of behavior, speech, dress, etc. I’ll take the violets and the shaggy bark! A shaggy experience: I invite you to find a day when you do not have to do anything which requires you to alter your appearance or your true self. Take some time in a natural place with your journal and crayons or anything else you might like to play around with. Notice the apparent lack of planning in this place where things just grow how they grow and it seems to work. Enjoy your day! Sun Baked—April 2009 Walking out my back door I notice the thermometer says 88 degrees. I know that this is a mistake, as it has been baking in the sun. It is the middle of April and I have been waiting for this day! The actual temperature is 66, and it feels like summer. A few weeks ago when we hit the 50’s and were rejoicing after the long winter, my son Jay joked that in our Midwest climate, 50 is the new 80. This is a challenge for a summer girl like me. Digging a hole for a new tree in the garden, I am too warm for my winter sweater and happily peel it off. The socks are next to go. My face is warm, the sun is bright and the cool breeze only makes it all the more satisfying. I feel 100% content and at peace. What a lovely thing it is to have a day like this. In my climate, the great variety of weather calls me to an awareness of and appreciation for many kinds of moments. Skin warm sun on face The sun has long brought humans to an awareness of what lies beyond. As it sits so solidly in the sky above, my mind wanders to the fact that even cave people made drawings of the sun as a symbol for God and their spiritual lives. They apparently had a lot in common with me as I relish this first day of “April” summer. I am aware of the peace I have with The Creator as the warmth continues to spread through my body. Later, as I whiz by the weeping willow trees in my neighborhood, I notice they are fresh yellow green. I know this lacy newness lasts a very short time. I will go back tomorrow and take a photo so that I can savor this moment also. The economy is still in turmoil…cable news reports on it round the clock and I am still content. It is 6:15 PM and the sun is getting lower in the sky. Writing this while sitting on a bench under a crab apple tree, I am filled with a quiet joy. My skin is still warm from being sun baked and the birds are chirping. I am aware that this has been going on for millenniums. I decide to continue taking pleasure in it. A sun baked experience: Next time you look out and the warmth of the sun beckons you, grab your journal and art supplies and head out. Take some time…it is worth it… you are worth it. Find a quiet place to be. Listen, look at and smell the day. Notice what you are attracted to and write about it…draw a picture or honor it in any way you wish. Be aware of the plenty in this moment!
Go With What’s Natural—March 2009 I wake up late (for me) at 7:15 am with a stretching leisurely feeling. The light is coming later now because we had “spring forward” last weekend with the beginning of Daylight Saving Time which advances clocks so afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. Opening my eyes, a glance out the window reveals a crisp white coat of frost on the grass and I decide to head out to get a feel “for” the day.
Much later, as the day closes, I revel in the sunshine causing long shadows across my garden well after 6 PM. The light is back! I feel joyous about this longer end of the day. Reflecting on Daylight Saving Time which is all capitalized and important looking…sounding like a savings program, I wonder why we decided to shorten our winter days at the end instead of keeping it all year. Darkness comes by 4 PM at one point in Illinois winters. As I do a little research, it seems that there is a possible savings on energy costs, but no clear data is available. Did we do this partly so that we could get off to work earlier, trading the late day sun for the earlier light? Is this an effort to turn daylight into another economic program which denies our natural rhythms? Imagining the beginning when The Creator of light set up the planets, I speculate how this might have all worked for good…this change of light. I remember the contented stretch I began my day with. It felt luxurious and wonderful to wake up a bit later because we have sprung forward and the light is coming later. Maybe we were created for a time of rest for us as we semi hibernate in the dark of the winter mornings, sleeping in a bit longer. Imagine bears spending winters awake and scavenging rather than snuggled in a cave. I am sure anybody would be crabby about that. If we were naturally waking up as the late light came, we might be energized through a day with light lasting a bit longer at the end. Yes! I am ready to rebel. What if we decided to follow and trust our natural rhythms The Artist designed us with. What if we wrapped our economic system around who we really are instead of instead of wrapping ourselves around our economic system? I remember first going to Italy 38 years ago and being shocked that the businesses were closed during their four hour lunch times. This was inconceivable to my American…keep “the business going” mind. They sat in the sun a bit….enjoyed the company of family and friends…let their bodies digest the lunch…and then went back to work. It sounds like a natural way to be, a kinder and gentler way. A Going With What’s Natural Experience: Pick a day when you have plenty of time or create one. Do not fill the time before you get to it. Allow yourself to wake up when you do naturally and take plenty of time getting dressed and ready for the day. Chew your breakfast food thoroughly as though you have all day…because you do. Go outside when you are good and ready and take along your journal, art supplies and anything else you like. Allow yourself to be present and aware of your senses as you wander. Take in whatever grabs your attention…sights, smells, sounds, etc. Journal about this experience and consider its meaning in the context of how you live the rest of your life. Decide what of this day you would like to incorporate into your life.
Hope—February 2009
The Creator gives me the message that I can and must hope as I gaze at the opaque gray knowing all the while that transformation will come. This hopefulness pervades my life as difficulties come and go in the economy, the family and other areas of my life. I know the temporal nature of life, because I have seen it in all my seasons.
A Hopeful Experience: Take some time outside with your journal, art supplies and camera if you like. As you walk, look for signs of new life that attract you in the natural landscape. Reflect on these symbols of new life and how they mirror the new life and hope inside of you.
Be Still—January 2009 It is snowing. Again. I live in northern Illinois where the winter weather is usually quite mild and I find my self hoping for a little snow for the holidays. Not this year. The snow continues silently coming down flake by flake covering my garden until the bench becomes almost invisible. It is blanketing everything. It appears that nothing is going on. I venture out to the mail box at the end of our long drive. Walking along, I enjoy the crisp, clean air and the sound of my boots on the snow.
When I get to the silence part, I stop and breathe it in with sweet pleasure. This is the most silent time of year here. The Weather Maker has provided me with a “time out”! Children have time outs to rebalance and collect themselves in silence. Why not me? I need to stop and re-collect myself too. My baby grandson Cameron visited me several days ago and we found total contentment for hours as he sprawled on my lap, his legs and arms hanging, staring out the windows looking at whiteness. My Higher Power says, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) It is a time of economic chaos in the world right now and even the weather seems out of control in many places. I can choose, with Cameron as my teacher, to let it be, to lie back and be in silence with the blanket of snow as my quieter. I know there is preparation for newness and growth within the stillness outdoors and also within me. I have a quiet sense of anticipation in this calm. An Experience of Stillness: Go outside regardless of the weather. You might like to take your journal, camera and art supplies for later…but put them aside as you find a place of stillness. Be present in the quiet. Stay for longer than you ordinarily would. Let your agendas drift back out as they pop into your mind. Breathe in peace and quiet allow your tension to release as you look at and listen to your surroundings. Be still… Wait…
Daydreams—December 2008
Light shadow, light shadow ripple As I am lulled into my daydream, I remember gazing into the water of the creek at my father’s farm as a small child…being aware of the ripples and the clarity and the stones beneath. I was hypnotized in a moment by the beauty and the gurgling sounds. I am much the same as that girl still. Back then it was perfectly natural to drift along in my reverie. I was a daydreamer! As a matter of a fact, every report card I got labeled me as such. “Nancy is not working up to potential. She looks out the window and daydreams.” That was the description. They had my number…I agree. We differ only in our valuing of this activity. What was meant as a negative assessment, I now know is the best part of me. Life has gotten busy and now I need to be conscious enough to remember to dream. The Artist created me to be a dreamer and a visionary. This is my truest self. When I slow down and allow the pleasure of a full embrace of my dreamer, like this day at the river, I feel complete. Apparently The Artist made no mistake in the creation of me…or you!
Daydreaming Experience: Allow yourself to take some time outside with no agenda. Take along your journal and crayons, pens, pencils, camera--whatever feels right for today. Fiddle faddle along until you get “lost” in the moment and stay there. When you notice an attraction to some of the sights and/or sounds around you stay with it and let your self dream. Stay with your dream until it gradually takes on form and meaning. Journal, write a haiku, take some photos, draw a picture or do a dance. Allow the truth of who you were created to be to become visible. Dare to be that person. It is all you have.
Glory—November 2008 Finally looking down, I notice a carpet of fallen leaves already forming on the still green grass. I am especially drawn to the red shiny luster of the star shaped leaves of the sweet gum tree I so love. The color and gloss are bold and bright…very attractive qualities…but the star shape is best. Collecting these leaves gives me particular joy because of the star shape. My friend gave me a card with a star on it which plainly states, “You are a star.” I framed it and hung it in my office to remind all who enter that this applies to them as well! Picking up as many as I can find, to hand out at a talk I’m giving, I glance up and notice a brigade of five strollers rapidly approaching pushed by five upscale looking young moms. I must be a curious sight at my age in business work clothes delightedly scooping leaves into my tote bag. One mom gives me a big smile as they fly by. Back to my task, it suddenly occurs to me that the cool air has brought forth this Cool air, Cold nights I am reminded not to leap to judgment. The Artist exemplifies the changing growing stretching creating recreating beauty on beauty which brings glory to glory though out all creation. I know once again…it is all good.
A Glorious Experience: Take time to go outside bringing along art supplies, journal, camera and whatever else you enjoy. Allow yourself to be open to beauty and truth in the smallest bit of creation. Wander and enjoy the wander. Notice when you start feeling excited by and/or delighted by and/or thankful for any bit of creation. Splendor can be found in the simplest packaging. Rejoice! Whole and Connected—October 2008
I am aware of myself as an individual on a solitary path while also enjoying being with others. I feel at home in this milieu and find that the people on my path mostly seem to accept and enjoy my company, in spite of or perhaps because of the fact that I am willing to be out there, i.e. authentic and one of a kind. I still remember Junior High where all the “ducks” had to be the same! I am so much more at home with being who I am and seeing what that brings.
Wandering further along the river path, I notice diamonds sparkling on the water surface. Photographing this brilliance seems almost impossible as I chase it with my camera. What I know is the exquisite wealth of this instant. I am part of this painting and in connection with all of it through The Artist. I am home.
The river sparkles
An Experience of Wholeness and Connection: Go outside with your journal and art supplies. Be aware of the air and the light and the sounds and smells of the day. Wander or sit until in this moment until you have a sense of the peace and quiet of the day. Be aware of how your peace of mind and your sense of wholeness go together. Be aware of what you are attracted to in nature as you relax into this day. Notice your felt sense of connection to the rest of creation as you let go of your agendas and “to do” lists. Journal, draw, take pictures, write haikus to symbolize this moment so that it sinks deep into your being and you can take it with you! Peace be with you.
Now that fall is approaching and my summer starved self is filled with tomatoes and basil from the garden, my mind is wandering back to other natural loves. My three year old grandson Dylan, known as Dilly to family, arrives in the morning and he is excited over the top about his new orange/red shoes. “I got new shoes Maga (My grandma name)!” His energy flies out all over and he is a presence, one of creations’ wonders. The world would not be nearly as alive without him in it. He is my teacher or at least my reminder about the fullness of life I arrived on the planet with and am still called to. Every moment for him is a learning experience…an enchantment. I am awed by his beauty, resilience and humor. The Creator regularly teaches me about life through Dilly. I can see why Jesus said, “So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matthew18:4) Oh, for the satisfying simplicity of a child’s viewpoint! Much later, after dinner and batting practice, I sit on the deck enjoying the day’s end in lounge position. Dilly wanders over eyeing me like I’m a comfortable chair as he climbs up. We are one…with me as the lounge and Dilly as the lounger. His body is heavy on mine as he relaxes and there is sweet end of the day silence. We are part of nature, human beings. We watch the changing sky as clouds wiz by in the evening breeze and the background colors change from powder blue to peach to the deeper blue of night. We are present. A first star appears…“Look Dill, a star.” Again filled with the enthusiasm of the orange/red shoes, he says, “WOWWW”! We are there for an eternal moment and I feel complete contentment. I most profoundly experience love when the people I care for take the time to be truly present with me. I am grateful for this time of presence. Thanks Dilly. An Experience of Presence: Take some time out of your day and find someone you love to be with whom you sense also loves to be with you. Spend a moment or a day enjoying being present with one another. As you reflect on this time of presence, you might like to journal, draw, write a haiku, do a dance or take a picture to understand the value of this wonder filled connection! Be.
It’s Natural—August 2008
Letting go will prepare me for reseeding too. It appears that nature lets go naturally, easily. Walking in the woods earlier, I noticed a bark less dead tree standing tall and proud amidst the green. It seemed to fit in fine, no questions asked. Letting go of its glorious bark did not remove its presence in the woods. Instead it provided an exquisite smooth contrast. If I faithfully let go of what was lovely and is no longer viable, I create space for new growth and beauty. I am part of the creation, not The Creator of this vast magnificence. I am natural and to let go and allow space is natural. Trust Me and the A Natural Experience: Grab your journal and art supplies or camera as you go outside. Let your mind wander as you stroll. Notice symbols of letting go as a natural part of creation. Consider how this relates to your life and what you might need to let go of in order to allow space for new life. Write, draw and move your body as you allow insights about your natural self. Be true to who you are today!
Light Breaking Through--July 2008 As I walk outdoors and notice the air has settled into a thick hot summertime variety, a breeze is welcome. The clear Leaving the open spaces, I am discovered almost immediately by a new crop of mosquitoes born out of our abundant rain. I confess I wonder what The Artist I feel lighter myself. I am like the woods…deep shadow and light, complex and inviting. Sometimes it looks a little scary to enter into life fully…feelings, visions, ideas, new territory. When I dare to be present to difficult moments, The Light breaks through and the darkness brings learning. The woods, wild invite Breakthrough Experience: Gather your journal and art supplies and head outdoors. Allow yourself to let go and be present in this moment. Consider something which might be troubling you where you feel a little stuck or unclear. Notice what you are attracted to visually or what you hear or smell or touch as you meander along. Write about, draw or photograph whatever it is you notice as you allow clarity to breakthrough. Enjoy your breathing space outside.
Thanksgiving--June 2008 Summer is here. In the Midwest, we have had wild swings between hot and cold, heavy rain and scorching sun. I am coming up for air with the last edit of Woman Spirit Awakening in Nature, breathing in freedom and fulfillment at its completion . At this moment, my backyard is the picture of abundance after the sun and rain. As I roam up the hill through the Japanese garden, I become part of this profusion. The various pine trees appear to be on tip toes reaching up at least an extra foot or two this year. I planted nice tidy specimen plants appropriate to Japanese gardens with an eye toward simplicity and open space. Apparently my garden doesn’t know it’s Japanese! The mature plants have been casting out seeds and seedlings are growing fast wherever they landed. I like the excess naturally created by this season. My family also feels abundant with our children and their mates and grandchildren including a new baby. I identify with the mature plants standing strong while being surrounded by this mysterious plenty.
Thanksgiving Experience: You might like to take your journal, pen, and crayons or a camera outside. Be present in the moment and open to your surroundings. Pay attention to your senses and notice what you are attracted to. Note any feelings of goodness or satisfaction in your body. Be aware of any sense of thanksgiving for what you are seeing, hearing, feeling as you mosey along. Jot down any responses you have. Be with it a bit. Ponder what it means. Perhaps write a poem, make a drawing or snap a picture. Take pleasure in your day.
Fresh Green--May 2008
Looking out, I see the fresh green of the spring woods behind my home and decide to trek out and be fully present to this moment. In creation the Creator brings me clarity. Entering the woodland path, surrounded by the bright verdant green…a few steps bring me to a new land. In this emerald place, my senses heighten. The birds appear to know it is spring as they take to the air singing. Walking along with this awareness and called inward with the sight of sweet lavender wild flowers surrounded in the profusion of new growth, my heart is lighter and I feel gratitude. The tender lavender flowers are almost hidden in the abundance. I like and share the quiet feminine feel of them in this hiding place. In creation there is always a place for me to tuck in and experience the greenness of the Creator. I am filled with thanksgiving as I return home. Fresh green path A Refreshing Experience: If you need refreshment, you might like to take your journal, pen, crayons and maybe a camera and head out doors. Allow presence to the moment and possibilities for a personal and spiritual pick-me-up. Pay attention to your senses as you become aware of what you are attracted to…what gets your attention. Wander around your journal as you write about this attraction and perhaps write a poem. A short haiku helps focus. (3 lines with 5, then 7, then 5 syllables). Perhaps branch out from there to wherever you go. Maybe you would like to symbolize your experience with a drawing or photo. Enjoy your day. |
I am thankful for the grace in this wide and deep stretch of time. I breathe in the sweet balmy air of this morning. Even the wind is warm, though wild and
circular as it whips in and around me. It feels mighty…a predominating force in the landscape today and yet invisible except in the movement of trees and grass. The long needles of the island pines are blowing sideways. And there are moments of utter stillness when the wind is silent.
When I dare to go into The Artist’s creation, The Creator changes how I see…changes my perception, changes my view of reality to what really is beneath and beyond what I view on the surface. I become aware that of being fully part of creation and connected to it in the deepest way…woven by the same Artist. As I experience the beauty in and around me I recognize my own beauty more acutely on this morning. I am part of the clarity and freshness of the air…the ease and grace of the deer. The mirror of the river’s reflection shows me The Artist of creation. As I receive this insight, I am grateful.
And there are always signs of new life being prepared. The buds for spring are already puffy on the leafless star magnolia in my garden. This is an assurance of new life. 
Being present to the lovely outdoor acres, I notice gardens here, woods there…lots of choices. Surveying the area, a bright orange tomato harvest beckons me. I love tomatoes….their shiny exteriors and juicy insides. I am on vitamin C overdose already this year. Wandering over and settling on an available railroad tie bordering the tomatoes, I am very comfortable with my sunny little spot. 
Today seems tentative after a night of off and on heavy rain. The temperatures of my
beloved summer are already dropping and the winds of change are on the way. Poking my head out the back door, I notice the rain has puddled on the deck. I think twice then slosh on out into the moist crisp air.
Anyhow, I pop back in my door and leave the screen open. My camera is poised as I wait. I am thinking about the Discovery Channel and wondering how long it takes for their unlikely and spectacular photographs. Suddenly, my friend Hummy appears and darts away several times and then apparently decides, “Oh, well…” and settles in for a drink in my presence. I take five or six photographs some of which are at a crazy tilt in my moment of excitement. I feel delight. I now have proof of my small acquaintance. Several hours have passed since and I am still smiling. What joy there is in waiting expectantly. 
stepping out on the front porch and heading along the walk. My awareness sharpens. The breeze is swirling, cool, moist, refreshing. The cottonwood trees lining the drive create accompanying music as their leaves crinkle tissue paper crescendos. The crickets chirp out the melody of my open air Wisconsin childhood. 
for something new and now it is here. I am surrounded. I breathe in the piney goodness of it all. Looking up, I notice two to six inch sprouts of new growth coming out from the branches of the pine trees in the garden. I am amazed. I do not remember these being here a week ago. How did all this growth appear all at once! It looks like a magic trick, but I know better!
stretching toward the sky. Coming closer for a better inspection, I notice a circular metal 
disk nailed to the tree with a number proudly imprinted on it. Ouch! It looks painfully out of place against the rugged and ruffled shaggy bark.
The leaves had a moment and now the violets are sprouting through. Every part of this ordinary orchestra gets to have its moment and do its thing. Nothing seems to be taking away from anything else.
Off in the woods there is the repeated click, clickity, click, click sound of a woodpecker and I wonder if his tapping on the wood is merely shivering…click, click, click or if it is just my over identifying. Two swallows swoop low right in front of me and a flock of small birds returns overhead. Yes, everyone seems to know that spring is near. It appears instinct is enough.
Gray, gray, seemingly endless opaque gray meets me as I walk outside and look at the sky above sliding a lid over my life. I am trying to be patient and ignore the drab gray, but it is getting difficult as the winter wears on and on. I walk along the edge of the deck
looking up again, hoping for a change and suddenly I find one. The stretching ginko biloba branches have developed buds. Big pointy buds where the leaves will come are framed by the neutral sky beyond. I do not know when this happened, but it is undeniable now! YES, a sign that the season is shifting and it will not be winter forever. I feel relief and hope grows in me for the freedom and transparency I know in spring.
A couple of days later as I go back outside, the blue has miraculously arrived and the sunshine is gilding the trees sparkling gold. I feel relief and joy as I look up and beyond. I whisper a thank you to The Creator. As I consider this pageant of change and transformation repeating itself every year, I recognize wisdom in it. It calls for me to be faithful as I wait knowing I will see the crystal clear blue again. In spite of the raggedy impatience I feel as during months of gray, I know there are blue skies beyond and hope lies beneath the surface in me like buds growing within my spirit. One definition of hope is “to be confident; trust”. I want to live my life with confidence and trust …hopefully. 
Crunchy crunchy snow
Meandering around Island Park on the Fox River today, I overlook the bridge, attracted to the sheer transparency of the cold shallow water. I notice the clarity of the stones and rocks beneath. Slight ripples on the surface mirror streams of sunlight alternating with shadows.
Walking briskly, I have a mission, searching out my favorite tree in Island Park. I am enjoying the cool air, summer merging into fall, also aware simultaneously of being a “summer girl”. I grieve summer’s end and usually migrate south a while to sample a bit more warmth! I spy my tree in its glorious yellow red splendor bathed in sunshine and stop in pure admiration for a photo shoot…another way to hang on. 
wonderful array of color. 
I am wandering Island Park in the clean cool air of this October day. There is a hint of breeze winding in and out which gently, lovingly fluffs the perimeters of my hair. Walking along the Fox River I notice one pure white duck floating, swimming and frolicking with her brown companions…appearing to be part of the group, although visually she sticks out as different. She doesn’t appear to “fit in” through my outsider eyes, and yet she seems quite at home with her uniqueness and accepted by the flock. 
I am aware of the deep core of individuality in each of us in my work as a therapist. I have had the privilege of being with individuals at core and experiencing their unique ways of viewing the world. I see The Artist as creator of all this distinctive beauty and also the connective breeze which brings us together. I feel whole and connected in this moment. 
Some SPA Sister friends are over today roaming my property and the woods behind. The swarm of mosquitoes in the woods has driven them to the open garden which I didn’t get around to deadheading, that is, removing the flowers’ dead heads. The coreopsis blooms of June are now brown and brittle. 
When my guests came today, I wanted everything pretty…ready for them. Crisp…not crusty. Now, wandering in the garden, the dead seed heads are attracting me…so I decide to stay present to this moment. I am in transition in my life, both personal and professional. There is new promise ahead, but first I need to let go of what no longer works. It occurs to me that the seed heads get dull and dried out in preparation. Their brown crustiness is only a prelude. They are full of new seeds for bringing more abundance. It is really from glory to glory. I know and have faith in this process, even though it is not visible to the eye. 
blue skies carry sun-bleached clouds of brilliant white. I take a cluster of blue and white photos and each is beautiful and unique. I could take pictures of this changing sky all day and enjoy each one. Usually comfortable and at ease in the sunny open land, on this day I have the urge to walk into the shade of the woods behind my home. 
had in mind with the creation of these creatures. Continuing into the shadows and aware of how heavy the air feels, I am conscious of some heaviness inside of me surrounding current transitions in my life. Then I notice dappled beams breaking through the thick summer forest sprinkling the path with light. I remember that even when I’m in an unclear shadowy place there is always light. 
As I move slowly, soaking in the fullness of this place, I am drawn to a sizeable coreopsis plant with round yellow flowers facing straight up toward the sky. This is how I feel in my life right now…full and round and yellow, face looking straight up, grateful that The Creator has given me this time in my life. I am soaking up this nurture and goodness like the pine trees and coreopsis and directing my thanks to The Artist who created all of it! I’m full of thanksgiving. 
It has been a long time getting to spring this year bumping along with temperature highs and lows…mostly lows. This winter was a very solitary time for me with the writing of Woman Spirit Awakening in Nature. It has also been rich and deep. Now I find myself looking around to find out where I belong back in my “regular” life.